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| Un |
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| Bomb |
According to intelligence analysts who have been monitoring the
Glorious Leader’s claim that he recently exploded a Hydrogen Bomb in North
Korea, the intelligence community has confirmed that Wan Ik Ki, the Heavenly Benefactor’s
ex-girlfriend, was tied to a Hydrogen Bomb and vaporized, providing valuable
information for the advancement of the Consummate Leader’s nuclear program.
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| Ex-Girlfriend |
According to C.G Spaniels, Author of The ABCs of North Korean Kimchi, “The Supreme Universal Leader got
really P.O.d by Wan’s incessant lap dancing with members of his Cabinet during
meetings.”
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| C.G. Spaniels |
Experts continue to speculate on the type of bomb that was
used. Said Spaniels, “It seems to me
that this is a hybrid thermonuclear device that employs a fission-fusion-fission
technique similar to how you make North Korean Kimchi.”
The Ultimate Leader of the Universe celebrated the Magnificent
Triumph by eating North Korean Style Beaver with plenty of Kimchi and then repairing
to one of Pyongyang’s most popular strip clubs: The Supreme Appreciation and Gratitude to His Holiness Happiness and
Joy Club.
Commenting on the analysis so far, Dr. Richard “Buddy” Speculum, analyst
at the Placencia Domingo Think Tank, said, “I think it was
more of a fusion-fission-fusion device.”
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| Speculum |
It was strange love.
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