Trump Statue To Replace Michelangelo's "David"!

"You're fired!"

For hundreds of years people have stood in awe at Michelangelo's sculpture of "David", the biblical character who slayed "Goliath", a gigantic monster.

Today, Donald Trump announced that a statue of "The Donald" will replace the centuries old "David" as a result of a deal that includes the Italian government, the city of Florence, and the Galleria dell'Accademia which displays the "David". 

Said Trump, "The old art, where did it get us?  It's a disaster, folks!  Let's make art great again!"




Terms of the deal are unknown.

Unveiled outside a New Jersey Mall to a crowd of excited art enthusiasts, the statue will be shipped to Italy next week and installed permanently at the Accademia in the room where the David once stood, renamed the "The Magnificent Donald Room".














According to anonymous sources, the original "David" will be stored somewhere in the Mediterranean Sea.

Unlike Michelangelo's preferred medium, marble, the statue of "The Donald" is composed of foam, butter, and plaster, with a veneer of urethane.  Louis d'una Schifezza, sculptor and noted New Jersey casino interior decorator, created "The Donald" using advanced industrial 3-D printing.

Art enthusiasts at the Mall shared their impressions of the historic sculpture:

Melania Trump: "It captures Donald perfectly. Sweet and fleshy!  He's a human, you know."

Ivanka Trump: "It reminds me of the showers I took with Dad after fishing trips."

Eric Trump: "It's a masterpiece.   Clearly it shows Dad as the Imperial Leader of the Universe in a kind of classical way."