Queen / Cameron phone call

CAMERON:  Hello?  This is the Prime Minister, David Cameron, speaking.

QUEEN:  And this is The Queen of England.

 

CAMERON:  Oh, your Highness, my, to what do I owe the honor of your call? 

QUEEN:  You know what I’m calling about, you idiot!  What the hell is going on down there?

CAMERON:    Well, we had a national vote on continuing on with the Europeans, you know, linking with them on legal, immigration and economic issues.  Unfortunately, the vote turned out negative.

QUEEN:  Yes, and thanks to you, our currency has been reduced to the price of a Mexican Peso, and already Donald Trump is in Scotland swanning around trying to license the country.

CAMERON:  Your Majesty, I was doing my duty to enable people in a democracy to vote.

QUEEN:  Listen, pal, I’ve been around a long time, and multiple Prime Ministers have come and gone. No one has blown up things the way you have just done.  I’m all for democracy, but thanks to you, now we have the whole thing flying apart.  Scotland’s going here, Ireland’s going there.  And I have to remind you that you are a “Conservative”, so tell me, what the hell have you conserved?

CAMERON:  [Silence]

QUEEN:  I thought so.  Not much.  You need to read, if you can, Charles Spaniel's' Universal Conservation of Stupidity, because you are one big example of it.  The fact that you have announced your departure from the position you currently hold is somewhat heartening but the thought that we’re going to have to endure a few more months of you is really intolerable.

 (END)