TechYawn: Japanese Anti-Drone Defense System Test Success!

This just in from the country that brought us a generation of tech-savvy products such as

Shoe Umbrellas

 The Plunge-O-Matic Toilet Cleaning System

The “Get-To-Work” Infant Floor Cleaning System

The Infinity Nasal Tissue Dispenser

 . . now comes the ultimate weapon against inquisitive drones.

Japan has successfully tested its new Japanese Anti-Drone Defense System (ADD) by downing an errant, mini-drone flown by 12-year-old Hideki Matsuma, a Tokyo schoolboy, whose science project “How To Fool The Japanese Anti-Drone Defense System” was underway.

Hideki Matsuma

The system snagged the tiny drone with a 6 ft. x 3 ft. metal chain net carried by a larger military ADD drone,  which brought its prey back to experts for further examination.

Authorities praised the successful test.  Notably, the Emperor of Japan thanked them for advancing science.  Security guards recently discovered an aged and non-functional mini-drone on the roof of the Emperor’s palace which held a waterlogged smoke canister and a small amount of radioactive soil from Japan's most recent nuclear power station meltdown.  This was apparently a protest stunt, but it set Japan's finest tech minds at work figuring out how to stop protest drones in the future.  Now successfully tested, the super high tech ADD fills the bill.

We asked Matsuma how he felt the project was going. 

 “The mini-drone was only a decoy, and that worked pretty well,” said Matsuma.  “Unfortunately, we had a last minute liquid oxygen control valve problem on “Dronezilla” – that’s what I call it anyway – and we couldn’t get lift-off in time.”

“Dronezilla” is a 120-foot drone with 16 propellers and packs 40 high-power laser beams configured to cover a spherical area 720 degrees around it to take out enemy drones.  Matsuma wouldn’t say where it was, but conceded that it was nearby. 

 

“That’s the bulk of the project, right there,” added Matsuma.  “My plan was to darken the sky with Dronezilla, laser the drone that hit my decoy, videotape everybody running for shelter, laser a couple of Jeeps, then record the guy on the Public Address System scream ‘Do not RUN! Do not PANIC!’ before returning to base.”

Matsuma said that after school next week he’ll replace the faulty liquid oxygen control valve on "Dronezilla".   His project is due on January 14, 2016.  "I've got a good chance of winning once I get the ‘Do not RUN! Do not PANIC!’ recording.  It's kind of a Japanese thing," said Matsuma.

Asked if he thinks Dronezilla could be useful for other purposes, Matsuma bristled.

"I don't think anyone would want something like this. It already flies at twice the speed of sound at 65,000 feet and is invisible.  I don't have anything else to prove.  I'm going to goof around with it after the Science Fair and see how high I can get it and what I can laser from there, but after that, I'll probably scrap it."

ref bit.ly/1lUdw7f

© 2015 Michael Gury