Turtles in Your Pants!

Thanks to the BBC we have learned that a man has been arrested for attempting to smuggle 51 American turtles in his pants from the U.S. across the border to Canada, presumably by car.

Kai Xu, a Canadian of Chinese origin, was apprehended at the Canadian border having acquired the turtles in Michigan.   He apparently had them taped all over his legs and lower body.

(Wow, I’m seriously creeping out.  Have you ever owned a turtle, even a little one?  They have scary claws on their feet.  Can you imagine 204 little turtle legs flailing all over your legs and lower body?  Each turtle has 18 claws, so that’s 918 little claws scratching away at you while you’re driving to Canada. OMG!  Waterboarding can’t be much worse.  This could have been on Air Canada!  I’m hyperventilating!  Turtles on a Plane!).

According to authorities, his intent was to ship them to China, where Michigan turtles fetch a high price.  Mr. Xu’s attorney claims that he was only trying to make money for college.  Nonetheless, Mr. Xu is going to the slammer in the U.S. for 5 years.

But I do think it gives us a hint at how the State of Michigan, which is in an economic slump, might leverage turtle exports to China to its advantage.  Farming large quantities of turtles in Michigan, and whisking them off to China directly, avoiding a Canadian detour, might provide the kind of economic stimulus that Michigan needs.

Ironic, since Michigan – specifically Detroit, the center of the American automobile industry, known for fast cars -- could potentially see turtles, known to be not so fast, become the next high growth industry.

Personally, I’d get the kid out of jail and put him to work running the farm.   Not only that but I’d take a whole mess of college kids and unemployed people in Michigan and give them jobs on the farm.

Politicians, take note!

Citation:  http://bbc.in/1Qa1fmA