Inky, Cephalopod, Escapes and Heads to the California Republican Primary

Inky, an Octopus, escaped from New Zealand’s National Aquarium by exiting his tank, opening up a drain without the use of screwdrivers, and headed through into the Pacific Ocean bound apparently for California, thousands of miles away.

Inky was a much beloved resident of New Zealand’s National Aquarium.

Arbithnot

“Like most Cephalopods Inky is incredibly smart and is capable of taking anything apart.  With eight legs, Inky could pull apart an F-16 in about 2 hours,” said Reginald Arbithnot, Cephalopod Analyst at the Placencia Domingo Hopefully Thinking Tank, Stann Creek, Belize.

Reportedly Inky left a note behind, written eight times: “Hate CNN. Hate Trump.”

Forrester Arthurburg, supervisor at New Zealand’s National Aquarium, said, “Well, it’s true, we had a CNN feed going on around Inky’s tank and the rest of the aquarium, just so people could keep abreast of recent developments.  I guess Inky was listening.”

Marslander

Asked how Inky might actually get to California by the time of the Primary, Ernest Marslander, Professor of Cephalopod Political Studies at the University of Aukland, NZ, said: “Inky’s going to attach himself to a fast-moving freighter or submarine, and bingo, he’ll be in Long Beach in the nick of time.”

Gergen

Political Advisor to U.S. Presidents Filmore and Coolidge, David Gergen, said: “If Inky gets into the convention, and his platform is about dismantling big government and anything else that needs dismantling, including the entire Republican Party, then he’s got a real chance at beating Hillary Clinton and making it to the White House.”