Name Your Own Chinese Restaurant Contest!

I have been inspired to create a “Name Your Own Chinese Restaurant” contest.

You are invited to submit ideas for Chinese restaurant names as comments here on the blog or to michaelgury@msn.com.

What got me going was that friend and former colleague, Ken Allen, posted a link to this, http://wapo.st/1TcqhU4 , a recent Washington Post article on the topic of Chinese restaurant names.

It seems that a couple of journalists decided to search all the Chinese restaurant names in America via Yelp.  Why they decided to do this might have to do with some kind of lunch as well as extreme boredom with the American presidential election.  I can only speculate.

But they certainly did their homework.  The article is equipped with maps and graphics! What is most inspiring is the “taxonomy cloud” of names, meaning the words that frequently appear in the 14,000 current Chinese restaurant names that are searchable. 

I’m not sure that any of these words will surprise you if you are a connoisseur of Chinese food in America.

Just to kick things off, my own off-the-cuff contributions consist of:

Gang-of-Four Tasty Wah

Chairman Mao Lucky Gourmet

Imperial Chopstick Tiananmen Dumpling

Bamboo Hot Panda

Mr Hing Fu Dynasty

Mongolian Green Seafood

Canton Ohio Hunan Tasty Wei Not

Chang's Happy Noodle Shower

Lucky Dong Chinese Roast

Szechuan Wah Coal Tasty

Chen's Royal Chop Fortune Lucky

Shanghai Tokyo Whatever

Jimmy Wok Jin Wah Not

Bok Choy and Dog (Pub)

Little Mongolian Hot Surprise

Kwok’s Noh Wok

Ming Hibachi Express and Dry Cleaning

Ergo Sum Dim

House of Communism and Fu Moon Noodles

Tasty Lee's Imperial Pinky

Fang’s Chattanooga Happy House and Stir Fry

Trump Good Fortune Hibachi and Club House

 

The winner will receive a free dinner at Placencia Belize’s famous Maya Beach Chinese restaurant, whose own current name is “Chinese Open”, unless it’s closed, in which case it is also called “Chinese Open”.  The food isn’t bad.  Bring your own table cloth.  And chopsticks.  OK, if you win, I’ll bring them.  If you need them.  I mean the chopsticks.

The deadline is May 25, 2016, so get cracking!  The winner will be announced on June 1, 2016, on this blog.  Have fun!

 

 

Turtles in Your Pants!

Thanks to the BBC we have learned that a man has been arrested for attempting to smuggle 51 American turtles in his pants from the U.S. across the border to Canada, presumably by car.

Kai Xu, a Canadian of Chinese origin, was apprehended at the Canadian border having acquired the turtles in Michigan.   He apparently had them taped all over his legs and lower body.

(Wow, I’m seriously creeping out.  Have you ever owned a turtle, even a little one?  They have scary claws on their feet.  Can you imagine 204 little turtle legs flailing all over your legs and lower body?  Each turtle has 18 claws, so that’s 918 little claws scratching away at you while you’re driving to Canada. OMG!  Waterboarding can’t be much worse.  This could have been on Air Canada!  I’m hyperventilating!  Turtles on a Plane!).

According to authorities, his intent was to ship them to China, where Michigan turtles fetch a high price.  Mr. Xu’s attorney claims that he was only trying to make money for college.  Nonetheless, Mr. Xu is going to the slammer in the U.S. for 5 years.

But I do think it gives us a hint at how the State of Michigan, which is in an economic slump, might leverage turtle exports to China to its advantage.  Farming large quantities of turtles in Michigan, and whisking them off to China directly, avoiding a Canadian detour, might provide the kind of economic stimulus that Michigan needs.

Ironic, since Michigan – specifically Detroit, the center of the American automobile industry, known for fast cars -- could potentially see turtles, known to be not so fast, become the next high growth industry.

Personally, I’d get the kid out of jail and put him to work running the farm.   Not only that but I’d take a whole mess of college kids and unemployed people in Michigan and give them jobs on the farm.

Politicians, take note!

Citation:  http://bbc.in/1Qa1fmA

Boaty McBoatface Sinking Fast

The British Natural Environment Research Council and its British Antarctic Survey, whose new polar

research ship is under construction, recently invited the public to name the new ship via social media.

Things seem to have got a bit out of control and the British Science Ministry is backpedaling

quite a bit due to the frontrunner: RSS Boaty McBoatface.

Apparently there was considerable input, with the votes tallying as follows:

1. RRS Boaty McBoatface, 124,109 votes 

2. RRS Poppy-Mai, 39,886 votes 

3. RRS Henry Worsley,  15,774 votes 

4. RRS David Attenborough, 11,023 votes 

5. RRS ITS BLOODY COLD HERE, 10,679 votes

6. RRS Usain Boat, 8,710 votes 

7. RRS Boatimus Prime, 8,365 votes 

8. RRS Katharine Giles, 7,687 votes 

9. RRS Catalina de Aragon, 7,055 votes 

10. RRS I Like Big Boats & I Cannot Lie, 6,452 votes

 In spite of the overwhelming support for the name, Jo Johnson, Conservative Science Minister, called it "not suitable". 

James Hand, a former BBC Presenter, is credited with the RSS Boaty McBoatface name but has apparently rescinded his vote in favor of the RSS David Attenborough.    I think if you asked David, who is a humble man with a great sense of humor, he might well demure.

At any rate, the backpedaling consists in part of arguing that it is a ship not a boat.

But you can easily see how creative British people have been in their nominations. 

  

This is kind of like the American presidential election:  Boaty McBoatface (Donald Trump) at the top, and I Like Big Boats & I Cannot Lie (Ted Cruz) at the bottom.

Coincidence?  I think not!  Both of them are overdue for a polar expedition.  

Attribution:  http://bit.ly/1SwFPYD