At the same time, a set of Emojis (called "Kimojis") posted by Supreme Goddess Kim Kardashian, got slightly higher online ratings ahead of the Emoji Caucuses.
“The Lord of the Universe was extremely displeased at the
cartoon characters mocking him and that Kardashian got higher ratings,” said
Kim Ugh Kimchi, Press Slave in Pyongyang.
Added Kimchi: “On the other hand, while they are in an online Emoji war, His Ultimate Highness thinks Kardashian is hot.”
“I think this is particular event is going to result in an invitation to North Korea for sex with Ms. Kardashian,” said Boring Celebrity Intelligence Analyst at Wienerschnitzel University, Kim Ugh Il. “He’s a real ladies man. I also think he wants to talk with her about a reality TV program he has in mind.”
We spoke with Kim Borax, Chief Officer and Director of Useless Intelligence at the NSA.
“From what we’ve gathered about Kim Jong Un,
it looks like he’s going use the internet to target any Kim in the U.S. who
isn’t hot.”
The North Koreans are behind a series of technically advanced online invasions in the U.S.
According to Borax, those who are hot include:
Borax added, “It would be safe to say that they’ll all be
invited to North Korea for sex with frisky Kim Jong Un.”
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| Offensive Emojis of The God of All Mankind |
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| Kimchi |
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| Brought to you by the Supreme Goddess of Supermarket Tabloids |
Added Kimchi: “On the other hand, while they are in an online Emoji war, His Ultimate Highness thinks Kardashian is hot.”
“I think this is particular event is going to result in an invitation to North Korea for sex with Ms. Kardashian,” said Boring Celebrity Intelligence Analyst at Wienerschnitzel University, Kim Ugh Il. “He’s a real ladies man. I also think he wants to talk with her about a reality TV program he has in mind.”
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| Ugh Il |
We spoke with Kim Borax, Chief Officer and Director of Useless Intelligence at the NSA.
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| Borax |
The North Koreans are behind a series of technically advanced online invasions in the U.S.
According to Borax, those who are hot include:
Kim Novak
Kim Basinger
Kim Catrall
Kim Wilde
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| Wanna see my H-Bomb? |
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| Fritz |
“I think this could spark an all-out internet war with
anyone in the U.S named Kim,” said Kim Fritz, Forest Ranger at the Lollapalooza
National Park, in Paul Smiths, NY. “My parents
were from Finland and the family name was Kimsdotoriiminiin. My first name is Kim, obviously a joke, and
then they changed our name to Fritz. So
I’m a little concerned that I will be attacked. But I have a firewall and a gun.
Others have differing opinions on how this is going to play out.
Donald Trump, current leader in the Republican race for nomination to be the Republican candidate for the U.S. presidency, and reality show actor, had this to say:
“I think Kim Jong Un has done a good job keeping his country under control,” said Trump. “But we need to build a giant wall.”
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| Trump |
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