Ex-President George W. Bush today unleashed the full fury of Hell on Europe, conquering it through a lethal combination of air power, boots on the ground, Dick Cheney, Douglas MacArthur, Napoleon, Halliburton, ISIS, the Texas Rangers, and plenty of torture, mainly waterboarding.
Apparently, in an attempt to honor a long-standing invitation to speak at the Basel Watercolor Institute and halfway to the Dallas/Fort Worth airport, the Swiss Border Control notified Bush that he couldn't step foot in Switzerland without being arrested, citing "War Crimes".
The Ex-President’s press secretary, Florence “Sparky” Sparkphlug, told members of the press “The Ex-President was really ticked when he couldn’t get into Europe. There’s no negotiating with Europeans.”
Announcing “Mission Accomplished” once he had leveled Switzerland, the Ex-President spoke to the crew of the aircraft carrier that plowed into Zurich. Said Bush, “America is safe again!”
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