After Election Loss, Donald Trump to Enter Military School

According to an anonymous source close to the family, Trump’s children have unanimously decided that, should he lose the election -- based his bad behavior, lack of discipline, disrespect for authority, and poor grades during the election – returning to a Military Academy would best for their father.

During a short stint in a posh prep school as a teenager, Donald Trump was nearly expelled for his bad behavior, lack of discipline, disrespect for authority, and poor grades. 

Donald, 2nd from left, cooking up his next prank

His father, Fred Trump Sr.,  yanked him out the school before he was expelled and placed him in St. George S. Patton Military Academy known for transforming delinquents into disciplined, respectful, and honorable young men.

Minutes from expulsion

One family friend, who chose to remain anonymous, said this:

“Donald couldn’t be controlled.  He felt he could get away with anything.  He sometimes did, but mostly got caught.  Fred was really ticked-off and placed him in St. George S. Patton Military Academy.   And it seemed to work.  There’s nothing like having to clean a few latrines and march in formation.”

Thanks Dad, for keeping me from getting canned.

Trump, in the middle.  The last time he ever got in formation.

Proud parents of a transformed Donald

“We’d be delighted to have Donald back.  I’m sure he will benefit, as will his family, by the transformation after his time here,” said Major Cornelius “Buckshot” Hardass, proctor of the St. George S. Patton Military Academy.   “Plus he might learn a thing or two about the military.”