Nowhere Man: Zombies and Stepford Wives Hold 2016 Convention in Cleveland!

The doors open at the Cleveland Convention Center

Crowds of Zombies and Stepford Wives flooded the Cleveland Convention Center this week to nominate A. Zombie for president.

A. Zombie and Stepford Wife

It is unusual for zombies to organize themselves, and the Stepford Wives rarely leave their kitchens, but complacent as usual, the Wives joined the crowds of zombies in Cleveland.

Stepford Wives at the convention

The zombies didn’t have a press officer, but one Zombie said: “ArrrrggghAhhh”, which I think might have been a summary of the zombie platform.

The floor of the Zombie/Stepford Wives 2016 Convention

Delegates from Georgia

Fred Blaskow, formerly Attorney General of Georgia, and who died 2 years ago, will be one of the speakers, as well as: Shirley Temple Black, dead for a couple of decades; Rowan Swisher, former Senator of Utah, who died just last year; and Arthur Tuttle, and previously House Representative from New Jersey, who passed in 1989 of cancer.

Tuttle

Black

There was a ruckus on the floor as zombies tried to eat themselves. For some reason, the Stepford Wives were left alone. It is rumored that the Wives can stop a zombie by knitting in front of it.

Zombies behaving badly with their eating frenzy

Wives with concealed knitting

Rumor has it that Ronald Reagan, dead for a number of years, will make a special appearance.

Reagan

And it is highly likely that Abraham Lincoln, dead for over two hundred years, will also make an appearance at the podium.

Entertainment will include the Ramones, who have been dead for quite a while; and the Jimi Hendrix Experience, whose members died at different times, but rest assured, they’re dead. There is reason to believe that Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison might also do a couple of numbers.

All told, in spite of the eating episode, the zombies were pretty organized and behaved themselves.

Zombies on good behavior!

Clearly they need leadership because they randomly wander in small groups around the country, and have no foreign policy they believe that A. Zombie is their new leader.